My Boss Said, 'Just Smile.'


Reader,

I tried to outwork everyone around me for most of my corporate career.

I hoped I'd be recognized and valued if I worked harder than anyone else.

This relentless pace became part of my identity.

Then came that moment.

Two months before I ended my 19+ year tenure at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, they hired yet another new leader—the fifth in six years who was well-known in media circles. I asked him what he needed from me the night before his company-wide introduction. His response?

"Just smile."

But the real blow came weeks later.

While I was working to navigate another leadership transition, adjust to organizational restructuring, and settle into my newly assigned role, my new boss came into my office. While pointing both forefingers at me, he said, "I hear you're a hard worker. I want to see more of that."

I was stunned. Even devastated.

At that moment, I realized I had lost sight of my value. The volume of work I produced—regardless of what this new boss thought—wasn't what mattered.

What mattered was what I uniquely brought to the table:

  • Deep understanding of our brand's DNA and the ability to powerfully message it
  • Strategic thinking, planning and execution
  • Sales of nearly $1 billion
  • Ability to lead [too many] direct reports and have them feel empowered and supported
  • Proven ability to sell advertising across five different media platforms
  • An extensive professional network built over years
  • Creative problem-solving when faced with seemingly impossible challenges
  • The ability to create possibilities where others saw only roadblocks

I’m able to write that list from the rear-view mirror. It was harder in that moment.

I had lost sight of my value.

I didn't fully grasp my value until someone I trusted essentially shook me by the shoulders and forced me to see it.

See your true value." she told me. "That's your true professional currency—not the number of emails you send or meetings you attend."

I left Martha Stewart shortly after for a new role where I felt my value was welcomed, recognized and meaningful.

When you overwork to feel valuable, you may be filling an emotional void with sheer activity. I know this well.

The constant email checking and the inability to disconnect become badges of honor that whisper, "See how necessary I am? See how committed?"

Here’s the big takeaway: The relentless pace rarely translates to your best work or true recognition.

Instead, it slowly erodes our wellbeing, relationships, and even your performance.

The addiction to busyness becomes a shield protecting us from the more vulnerable work of defining our actual worth.

Ironically, when you get caught in the busy, you do less of what brings value to your currency.

Less networking.

Less time for strategic thinking.

Less working on the business as you work more in the busy work.

We fear that if we stopped the constant motion, we might discover we're not essential or valuable. YOU ARE VALUABLE!

That’s the messy mind at work. Not the valuable one.

The most meaningful contributions don’t emerge from exhaustion, but from the clarity, creativity, and perspective that only comes when we step off the hamster wheel long enough to remember why we started running in the first place.

Your value is not correlated to the quantity of your work, but from the quality of your work.

The next time you shoot off another 10 emails, think about: Is this adding to my value? Is this adding to my currency as an executive, a leader, a high performer?

Or is it pushing papers? Is it kicking the can down the road?

You get to decide what makes you valuable, but you must define your value because nobody else will do it.

I invite you to pause and reflect:

  • What is your actual value?
  • What would your colleagues, team members, or clients say makes you irreplaceable or have massive impact?

Define your value. Own it. Focus your energy there.

P.S. That boss was there for over a year before he was dismissed. He never worked in media again.

If you are a leader of people, GO HERE to learn more about The Kite's Convergence Model for driving transformation and developing people.

Want to go deeper for yourself:

✨ For powerful 1:1 Coaching, sign up for a coaching conversation HERE

✨ Listen to The 7 Lessons I Learned from Martha Stewart ⬇️ andHERE.

✨ Join my morning practice HERE.

✨ 48 more mind-busting questions HERE.

✨ Learn how to rewrite your next best mid-life chapter. Read my book, For Success Sake! Extraordinary Possibilities in Leadership HERE.

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Here's to your success!



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Christina Langdon

After 30 years working for big name media brands including Martha Stewart and Fast Company, leading sales and marketing teams, I now help leaders achieve more than they think possible. Sunday Sunshine is my weekly newsletter that's about you, your future, and your success. Getting out of our default habits with insights on mindful productivity and lifelong learning, actionable ideas and exercises to have you hitting the week full of energy and enthusiasm. It's the best way to beat the Sunday Scaries.

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